Nên từ chối và hoãn thư admission thế nào

**Jenny** · #1 (**permalink**) 03-01-2010

Bạn sẽ nhận được nhiều admission, hoặc vì lý do nào đó bạn muốn trì hoãn hoặc từ chối admission. Các thư dưới đây thảo luận việc đó.

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I have been accepted to 3 programs i really like ( that already seems like a miracle at this point)
Unfortunately, due no very unexpected circumstances, i do have to ask for a deferral.
Now, the thing is, to defer, all of them ask you to accept their offer and to send in more money as a deposit. You then send your letter explaining the reasons for deferral.
Now, i do not want to turn the schools down not knowing which one will accept/deny my deferral because there is simply no way in can enroll in fall 09.
Since deferral is not automatic, i am thinking that not all schools will accept it.
So what should i do?
I do not want to take anyone's place if i end up not attending but on the other hand i do not want to turn the offer down until i am sure that they rejected my deferral.
Then again , is there any kind of legal binding if i accept the offer and i do not go because my deferral is refused?
It also implies a lot of deposit money....
Is anyone else in this case?
thanks !

Answer:

Congrats on getting into 3 programs you like!

Firstly, I wouldn't worry about legal binding if you accept/defer an offer and decide not to go. Students even start programs and end up dropping out a lot of the time. Nobody is going to sue you. Things happen in peoples lives.

If you want to know about deferral options at these schools, simple - ask them. It's hard to phrase it the right way, but becoming very good at writing emails is a part of the whole deal. Write to profs you know in the program, that's always a better option, or if you don't know any, write to the grad director explaining that you are considering your options given an unexpected circumstance that has cropped up. Most schools are very upfront about whether they do deferrals or not, it's even on their websites sometimes.

I really don't know about this last thing, but I am not too sure if you deferring will mean that it takes the spot away from candidates entering this year. It could affect next year's round of admissions. But the truth is, I don't know, and this could vary from school to school. Depending on the school, some departments are more autonomous than others in how they manage their money and admissions. At the end of the day, you can't make your decision based on how it is going to affect a school's admissions process. It's unfortunate that it seems like we're pitted against each other as grad applicants, but your personal circumstance is the most important context here. It does affect your life in the long run. Good luck.

**Jenny** · #2 (**permalink**) 03-01-2010

'waitlist' vs. 'yes' and the countdown to 4/15

I'm sure many are in similar situations, so thought I'd start a new thread...

I am trying to wait for an answer from my 1st choice, but have been told I am directly behind one other particular student (she/he doesn't accept, then it's me). Trouble is if they wait until the 15th to make a decision, I don't think I can. My other offer is (like most) made with a 4/15 deadline for decisions. What can I do?

I'm not sure how to ask for extra time and not directly say to program 2 "you're only the fallback". Not even sure extra time would be granted anyway...

Is there some gracious way to ask 1st choice for information about the other student? (not an e-mail or contact info to harass them, but just if they have any indications from them as to their intentions, official or otherwise).

So here it is, April 10th, five days to go, and I have no idea what to do....

Any suggestions? Anyone care to commiserate?

Answer

This is interesting. I'm in a similar position, having made a choice among my current offers, but still waiting on two wait-lists. I was only told that they were seeing some movement on the wait list, but was not told specifically where I fall on the list. I think with the smaller cohorts and the competition for admission, my chances are less than helpful if I haven't heard by now. (Then again, my prior wait list experience came down to the morning of April 15.) I do not plan to ask my other school for an extension. Rather, I will 1) hope people think long and hard this weekend and accept or decline at their schools, 2) prepare myself for the possibility of a Tuesday morning e-mail or phone call admitting me into my top choice. If I am not admitted of the wait list by 4/15, I will be content with my best offer and make the most of the next few years.
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I doubt that your school will give out contact information for the student ahead of you, and honestly, all you can do is ask the school to contact you ASAP if they hear. Make sure they know that you have another offer on the table that you will accept if you don't hear from them on April 15th, and give them your cell phone number. You can also ask for extra time, but how much do you ask for? Maybe the person who needs to say yes or no for you to get off the waitlist will also ask for extra time, and then you're in the same position. As far as waiting until April 15th to make a decision, that shouldn't be a big problem. Most schools will accept phone, email, or fax confirmation to hold a spot, as long as you mail the necessary forms shortly thereafter, so there is no reason you couldn't be notified on April 15th that you are off the waitlist and accept that spot the same day. And you already know now whether you would take the spot or not, because if you wouldn't, you would have already accepted your spot at program 2 and withdrew from the waitlist at program 1.

Almost every person on a waitlist is in this position, and if you really don't hear by the end of April 15th, well, you should just accept School 2 and be happy that you have a spot at a school you liked well enough to apply.

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I am in a slightly similar situation:
I am waitlisted at my top choice school, but was told that I could be accepted anytime between now and August, if at all.
I got in to another school, but with only loans as funding options, but this is the one of the best schools for my program, and I spoke with the program coordinator about funding, and he said that I am on the list to receive it, should anyone decline. But they wont know until May, and I have to accept or decline on May 1st (and give them a $300 deposit)
I got in, with full funding to a 3rd tier school, that needs to know if I accept their offer by April 15th, but they don't require a deposit.

I don't know what to do, I had thought that I would just accept the funded offer, and should I get in to my first choice or offered funding to second choice, back out. But this seems wrong, and Im not sure if it is entirely legal. But I can't tell the 3rd tier school this, and I don't want to ruin someone elses chance to get in.

Why can't they push the deadlines back to like June? This would make things so much easier, especially for those waiting on schools, that have yet to notify!

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I did this last year -- my situation was I had 3 schools trying to get me, and for one of them, the mentor I wanted to work with I wouldn't be able to meet with until April 17th. Yeah. So, at the behest of my undergrad advisor, I asked for an extension from the other two schools, very politely. Ask the advisor you are going to work with there -- many times they will be able to advocate on your behalf to extend the deadline. If they strictly adhere to the deadline (which I doubt they will), then you'll just have to make a fast decision, but I really doubt they will deny you an extra week to think things over.

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